Hmmm. . .
Christmas was enjoyable, fun-filled and semi-magical.
We received presents from Santa, which hasn't happened in years.Quite exciting. I gave some cool presents. Brian loved his toys. I told him how funny I felt buying them for my 25 year old brother. Oh well. He loved them. Dad was over-joyed with his truck. I told him how we knew he's always wanted a truck, so this little red Nissan truck with huge spiky wheels would have to do till he gets his real one. I received some good gifts as well. I got up at 6:30 to make cinnamon rolls, so after we opened presents I really needed a nap.

Tonight, LJM texted me and said a bunch of people were hanging out. Remember that this is Christmas nightm and the we are talking about my XBF. Needless to say, I deliberated about going, on and off, got sick to my stomach, thought I was going to barf, put on make-up at 10:00 p.m. and drove to Abby's house to play games. I worried that I would have the same feelings that I did when we were at temple square, but all I got was this, "I'm glad we're not dating anymore," feeling. And I wanted to care or at least . . . something. But I didn't. It's hard because I've moved on emotionally and otherwise, but guys get the privelege of being able to move on and date people quicker. For some girls, they can work their way with guys, but there are those of us who date less frequently and it really means something and don't have everything male that moves wrapped around our(my) fingers. I'd be fine dating someone right now.(I think) I have several interests, none of which will amount to anything most likely. But enough to keep me smiling and dreaming.

This post has rambled and taken some very strange turns. So sorry. I shouldn't write at this time of night/morning.